Wild Flower  Hakkai's Story
by Snow Shears
Summary: "Send me on my way still smiling, maybe that's the way I should go, straight into the mouth of the unknown..." This story is from Hakkai's POV. Rated M for later chapters. Angst/Romance. Please enjoy
1. Chapter 1

It was raining the night that I died. I had just lost everything that had ever held any scrap of meaning, so what did I care if I slowly bled to death, lying face first in a puddle of mud mixed with my own vomit and blood? My wife, my home, my sanity; it had all been stolen from me in a matter of moments.

_"I'm sorry, Gonou. This is goodbye..."_

_"Kanan!"_

My eyes shut tight, as if that would succeed in blocking out, or better yet, erase the painful images that were still burned into my mind. My beautiful wife, my loving sister, gone forever after uttering those final, haunting words. I had killed so many. So many people, and yet, I still couldn't save her. I couldn't save her.

I wished for death. Above all else, I longed for the sweet release from this world, though, somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I didn't deserve it. My body was wounded, my spirit, broken. I wasn't sure if it was my dying wish finally being granted or the pouring rain that was causing my body to numb from the pain of my open sores. Either way, I welcomed the tingling sensation that was soon to replace it all. It was a slow process, however. Almost too slowly.

"Finally... We'll be together again."

My final words. Well, at least I had planned for them to be my last words. Fate, being the cruel bitch that she was, had other plans in mind. For at that moment, for whatever reason, I opened my eyes. I opened my eyes to the blurry yet concerned features of a man crouched down before me. Concerned? No, that couldn't be right. No one was concerned about me. No one ever truly cared. No one but her, and she was gone.

"Hey man, you alright?"

The voice was rough and scratchy. The added result from years of smoking, I gathered. Through my obscured vision, I could see a shock of crimson hair, and eyes that matched, everytime that lightning lit up the sky. A halfbreed. A child of both human and Youkai parents. Taboo in our world, yet nearly unheard of in our town. Our town. Heh, there wasn't even a town left to claim. I had flattened it all. Those bastards didn't deserve to live after what they had done. None of them did.

"Yeah, stupid question. C'mon, man, lets get you inside and out of the rain."

He was speaking again. The halfbreed. I could only make out a few words of what he was saying, but soon, I felt my body being lifted, and a fresh wave of pain took place of the once comforting numbing feeling. I was too weak to make a sound. Too weak to even scream. Luckily ernough for me, this new wave of pain was enough to finally knock me unconcious. I had hoped to stay that way, so that I might join my beautiful wife once again.

However, as I stated before, Fate is a merciless crone that enjoys nothing more than to watch her victims writhe in agony for the rest of their mortal lives. I say this, because I had woken up, sometime later in the night. I woke to find that I had been tucked beneath a warm blanket, put into dry clothes that were just slightly too large for me, and placed upon a soft bed. I had been healed. I assumed, by the man that had found me in the woods, and that I was now taking up residence in his home.

"Well now, you're finally awake."

The bare arms of said man were planted firmly on either side of my head. I could see through one eye only, my right, and now I could confirm my earlier suspicions: this man, my savior, was one of the rumored taboo children. His crimson locks were kept long, but swept back into a ponytail. He bore two, identical scars beneath his right eye. Scars of which I knew had to have a story behind them, but at the time, I couldn't find the strength, nor interest to ask for it.

"Yes... I am awake."

Unfortunately. I stated before that it was raining, the night that I died. Well, I wasn't lying; it was still raining, and I did die that night. The night that Kanan was taken, raped, and killed. The night that my sanity was shredded as if it were wet newspaper. The night when I had lost all hope of retaining my humanity, was the night that Cho Gonou died.

No, I had a new life now. I had been given a second chance, for reasons, even to this day, that I do not quite understand. Cho Gonou had died, so that the demon, Cho Hakkai, could live.


	2. Chapter 2

"It's about time. You had me going there for a minute."

The voice was farther away this time. I reopened my eyes, though I had been unaware at the time that I had even closed them. The concern was still evident in his voice, but that couldn't be right. Why would he be worried about some worthless excuse for a dead man?

"Why did you save me?"

My own voice sounded foreign to my ears. It lacked emotion and tone, though that wasn't too surprising. My entire body felt numb, from the tips of my ears, down to the soles of my feet. Unfortunately, my mind was still functioning perfectly. The entire scene kept playing behind my eyes, as if someone had sadistically placed it on loop.

"Beats the hell out of me."

His words were muffled, as if he were speaking around the filter of an unlit cigarette. Finally, I forced my body into a sitting position, and turned my hindered vision towards the redhead.

"You don't know?"

He glanced over his shoulder, and for a moment, he smirked. A small 'heh' sound left his lips, before the unmistakable sound of a lighter being flicked open filled the room. I watched as the air around him became thick with white, exhaled clouds while I waited for a response.

"Oh, I know alright. I couldn't handle my conscious nagging at me constantly if I had just left your ass laying there in the rain."

This time it was my turn to chuckle. The effort burned my throat, but the reaction was inevitable.

"Really though, I saved you because I wasn't about to let you die out there on your own."

Again, his words surprised me enough to force my head over to him. I couldn't fathom the kindness from a stranger. Not anymore. There had been a time once, when I would have accepted anything from anyone, with no questions asked. Then again, there had also been a time where I had lived a happy, naive life, as well.

"Why?" My vocabulary must have seemed so limited to the halfbreed.

"I just told you," he rose from the chair he had been perched on and crossed into what I assumed was the kitchen, for the sound of something being poured soon met my ears. When he returned to me, he was carrying two cream colored mugs, from which the unmaskable scent of coffee floated into my senses. "You don't listen too well, do you?"

"No... I suppose not." My hands lifted to grasp the mug.I had to force it, but I offered a small smile of gratitude for the warm drink. "I apologize, but I just can't seem to understand... why you would risk your life to bother with the likes of a dying man."

His entire demeanor seemed to shit at that moment, from relaxed and calm, to having a near black aura surrounding his form. His crimson gaze seemed to pierce through me as he sat down on the edge of the bed that I was currently occupying. The stare was so intense, so burning with emotion, and emotion that I couldn't quite place, that I was suddenly fully aware of just how close the two of us actually were. The blood rushed swiftly to my cheeks, but I sent a silent prayer to whatever God there may have been, that he wouldn't take notice of such things.

"You don't look like a dying man to me. If you have some kind of death wish, do what the rest of us assholes do and drink yourself into a peaceful coma. Don't go spilling your guts out all over the ground a few yards away from someone's home."

I was stunned. Honestly, stunned. The amount of passioned riddled in his words, paired with the slight tremor of anger in his voice was enough to send shivers running straight down my spine. I couldn't tear my gaze away from him. I wouldn't have been able to if I had even wanted to. To say that I was mesmerized by the redhead would have been the understatement of the century.

"...My apologies." They were the only words that I could manage to find the strength to mutter. Only when the halfbreed had broken eye contact, in favor of taking a sip from the quickly cooling cup of coffee he was still holding, did I turn my head away, and finally release the breath that I had been unaware that I was even holding.

"Cut the crap." He chuckled. The sound vibrated through his chest and sent small ripples across the surface of his coffee. His laughter only seemed to deepen when he looked at me; I assume it was due to the look of shock written across my features.

"You don't need to apologize for eveything that you do or don't do. That's rule number two in my house."

I couldn't help myself. My natural, and often morbid curiousity had gotten the better of me once again. "What is the number one rule, then?"

His smirk sent the color, that had just started to dull down, flaring right back up to life. He put his coffee cup down on the small table that was laid out beside the bed, and then shifted until his body was nearly an inch or two from my own. I couldn't have taken a breath at that moment in time if my life had depended on it.

"Hang on for the ride."


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hang on for the ride."_

Those words had sent shiveres running relentlessly down my spine. The tingling sensation was a pleasurable one, but at the same time, it was an unnerving one. I had no idea of what I was getting myself into. Though, what other choice did I have? This man had not only saved my life by just getting me out of the rain, but he had played doctor to my injuries, provided me with clean clothes and shelter, and listened to my story with only a few questions asked. It would have been an insult to him, and to myself, for everything that Kanan and I had once stood for, if I had walked out on his kindness without so much as given regard.

That was nearly three years ago, and I still didn't know what I was getting into half of the time. My days were spent cleaning and cooking, in payment for the generosity that he had shown me. He had sworn repeatedly that it wasn't necessary, but after getting one taste of his infamous 'Everything in the fridge' stew, I couldn't allow myself to sit back and let that garbage slide down even my worst enemy's throats. I didn't mind taking care of him; it was quite nice, actually. It wasn't the same as it was when I was living with my wife, mind you, but I knew nothing would, or could ever compare to the past. So I stopped trying to make it.

"Dinner is ready, Gojyo." I called from the kitchen, where I had just finished preparing a rather lavish meal. We were expecting company, after all.

"Bout time, I'm starvin'. Maybe we should get a ehad start so that we can actually get some food in our stomachs before the pissy monk and monkey get here." He walked into the kitchen with his hands clasped behind his head, and a trademark Lucky Strike cigarette dangling from his lips.

"Ahaha, they're not that bad, Gojyo. Besides, I've made sure to cook plenty of food for all of us."

Priest Genjo Sanzo and Son Goku were the other two companions that Gojyo and I had acquired over the years. An unconventional priest, and a seemingly never-ending hungry heretic, they certainly added interest to my days. It was after my massacre that Sanzo had come looking for me, with Goku tailing close behind. I was taken before the Gods to atone for my crimes, so to speak. It wasn't long after that, that the four of us, Sanzo, Goku, Gojyo and I, embarked on a journey to India, in search of the five founding scriptures that would help restore the balance between humans and demons once again.

Nearly three years later, and though our mission was complete, the balance had never been fully restored. The upset that was caused by demons going beserk and killing at random had left an uneasy feeling in humans all around the world. There were fewer attacks, but the fear was still there. It was evident in the way they still whispered to each other and gave either disapproving or forced smiles as demon and human passed on the street.

"Do you remember how much Goku eats, 'Kai?" Gojyo spoke as he slid into his usual chair next to mine, momentarily jarring me back to reality and out of my thoughts. He had taken to shortening my name in a rather affectionate way over the years, but I couldn't say I minded that much. It was a bit flattering, really. There were rumors being whispered all around the town, about the relationship that Gojyo and I held behind closed doors. Neither of us chose to confirm, nor deny these rumors, however. In our minds, we saw no reason to humor the people who would otherwise have no time nor interest in our lives.

"Yes, and if I remember correctly, you, yourself can pack away quite a few groceries."

He blushed as he rubbed a hand across the back of his head. I had to admire that about him; no matter what kind of day I had been having, he could always manage to make me smile, as he was doing now. The moment of tanquility was short lived, as it always seemed to be when things got to be a bit too peaceful between us, for the loud laughter and irritated shouting of our two friends was growing closer.

"They're here," Gojyo taunted in a girlish voice. I stood up, leaving my own laughter echo through the kitchen as I left to greet our guests.


End file.
